Am I Positive? Page 13

  Chapter 10

  Am i positive?

  There was another problem. Brian didn’t learn that he was positive yet. It would be hard to tell him that truth when his grandmother Samantha was there. Hussain had an idea. He talked to service doc and convinced him to take Brian from the room as he was going to X ray from his head. Normally control X ray should have been done, but they usually do it near bed. But this time, they did out of the room. Samantha asked and they replied.

  “We didn’t want you to exposure X rays.” they said. So, Samantha didn’t have any suspect about the situation.

  Brian had his X ray and after that, Dr.Hussain met him. He told him they needed to talk.

  “Brian, i have to tell you something. We need you to start these meds. You should take them daily. Ok?”

  “Oh, why doc?” worried and suspected Brian.

  “Well, i am sorry but they had a blood test just before you were taken into the surgery when you were staying in ICU.”

  “About what? Oh, is it HIV?” asked excitingly Brian.

  “Unfortunately, yes, Brian. You are positive. But the good thing is we got that earlier. It is the beginning of the infection. So, we should start therapy. And also, we had confirmation test results today indicating that you are certainly positive. So, we will start therapy. I didn’t want to tell you this near your grandma. You should hide this fact from her for a while. She was very sad and felt very bad during your stay at ICU. She was very depressed and you know what? She turned back to life from death. Her heart was about to stop, Miss Gabriela gave her electroshock. So, please don’t tell her, ok?”

  “Oh, no sir. I was worried and expecting, but not that fast.” started to crying Brian.

  “I don’t know why this event happened, who fought you and i don’t know why but look from good side. If they didn’t do this test, we were going to do test a few weeks later. So, you have a chance to start therapy earlier and i arranged your and Alex’ group health insurance and meds arrived today alhamdulillah. Just think like you have a diabetes. They have to take their meds on time and they have to be careful what they eat etc. So, you have such a disease if you take care of yourself well and follow our controls and visits. So, don’t worry, medicine is working on HIV. Inshaallah they can have a clear solution for this virus. Ok? Now take these meds.”

  “Ok Sir, thank you. How is Alex by the way?”

  “He is ok, he was taken to the infectious disease service. He has another infection now. So, we understand that he had this virus kinda long time ago. Because, his immune system is not good right now. You are luckier than him, because you are diagnosed at early stage. keep praying for him, insha Allah we can save him, ok?”

  “Ok Sir. I appreciate all you do for us. If i had a brother, he would not do that much for me. I really appreciate doc. I really love you and i feel very happy to know you.”

  Hussain smiled and did let workers take him back to his room. Hussain was feeling happier to start therapy for both Alex and Brian. But he still have the pain being late to know them. Because, he feels he had to protect them from drugs.

  Brian and Samantha was doing very well, doctors decided to discharge them the next day. But Alex was not doing well. He was falling asleep, fever was high even though antibiotics and antifungals. Hussain came to him with Brian. Hussain tried to talk to Alex, but was not responding. These infections was all over his body. They had tomography and they found out his brain has also being under effect of HIV. Hussain turned to Brian,

  "Brian, we did all we can for Alex. Unfortunately, it seems like it is very late. He takes antibiotics, antifungals, anti HIV therapy. He has a lot of infections all over his body, even his brain. He seems like he is very close to the end of life."

  "Oh doc, am i going to die like this? "

  "Alhamdulillah, you are not that late. If you follow our advices carefully, if you take your meds regularly, you can have a long healthy life. I know such patients living long and healthy. But poor Alex, he was very late to be diagnosed."

  "My poor friend.. Bad friends and drugs and finally HIV became the reason of death in a very young age. "

  " Hey, don't talk like that. Maybe Allah will let him get rid of this situation. He is still alive. You never know.. "

  " Yes but, look at him. I wish i could have stayed away from drugs. "

  Alex is dieing

  They left room. After a few hours later, nurses called Hussain urgently. Alex’ heart was about to stop. Hussain and Brian ran into the room, he tried his best but... Alex didn’t respond again, he gave his last breath. Hussain and Brian was so sad. Hussain said something in arabic. Brian asked what it means,

  "It means that "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return."{2/156}. When we hear that someone died, or a bad new, we Muslims say that. "

  “Wow, you Muslims have a very close connection with God. You guys always remember him.”

  “We should, but we are all human. We have nefs ( lower self ). Unfortunately, we forget sometimes too. A person does bad things when he or she forgets Allah.”

  “I look forward to join our first meeting this Thursday night.”

  “Well, now we have to do our last duty to poor Alex. May Allah forgive him.”

  “Amen…”

  They joined Alex’ funeral ceremony. Brian told them he was not a religious boy. He never heard anything from him about God or Jesus. But, they did funeral ceremony as a christian. But, there was not much people. The priest, Brian, Samantha and a few workers. Hussain stood up nearby them. He prayed according to his beliefs. After funeral, Brian asked why he didn’t stand up with them. Hussain said,

  “You know i am Muslim, my praying style is different. So, i wished to pray by myself, because i feel guilty, i should have met him before all of these happened. I should have saved him.”

  “Oh ok, but why did you stand up?”

  “My prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H.) was sitting and talking with his friends. At that time, a Muslim funeral was going to the graveyard, he stood up, after a while a Jewish funeral passed nearby them, he also stood up too. So, we take care all humanity. We don’t hate people just because they are not Muslims. In our holy book Qur’an says,

  “There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing.”{2/256}

  So, that’s everybody’s own choice. Everybody is free to choose their religion. Islam is certain. It is a religion of peace.”

  “But, we hear crazy things about Muslims. They are killing people, even Muslims and saying that victims were not Muslims. Who decides who is Muslim or not?”

  “That’s a very big provocation, fitna. In Islam, killing a person unfairly is like killing all humanity.

  “Because of that, We decreed upon the Children of Israel that whoever kills a soul unless for a soul or for corruption [done] in the land - it is as if he had slain mankind entirely. And whoever saves one - it is as if he had saved mankind entirely. And our messengers had certainly come to them with clear proofs. Then indeed many of them, [even] after that, throughout the land, were transgressors.” {5/32}

  Nobody can know who really believes or not. We have to act according to what they say. In my prophet’s (PBUH) time, there were hypocrites. They were saying that they were Muslims, but actually they were working for fitna. But Rasulullah (Allah’s prophet) P.B.U.H. acted like they were Muslims. He PBUH didn’t kill them. In one war, one of his friend was about to kill a non Muslim. He begged him not to kill him and he said “I accept Islam now, please don’t kill me. I swear, i witness there is no God but Allah, and i witness Muhammad PBUH is his servant and prophet.” But he killed him. Rasulullah P.B.U.H. heard about that, asked him why he killed him even though he said so. He said,

  “He said so because of death fear. He actually didn’t believe.”

>   “Did you open his heart and check that out?” asked Prophet PBUH.

  He didn’t like that situation. He never became willing to fight, kill. Jihad is not only killing for Allah, jihad is vitalizing people with invocation of Allah, bringing them the beauty of Islam. But, unfortunately, nowadays, some malignant people take an advantage of ignorance of people, even non Muslims. They make them believe the religion they fabricate, and they kill other Muslims with them. It is so sad. We have to work against these things. We have to learn real Islam and help people know it, even non Muslims. Because, all people around the world, even little kids, girls, boys are under risk of this fitna. May Allah protects all of us.”

  “You talk very nice doc. I am happy to hear all of these from you. I didn’t know much about Islam before you. And all i know was just the news, etc i heard. All were bad things. All were about blood and tears. Thank you for informing me.”

  “It is a pleasure for me to talk to you about real Islam. Now, if you wish, let’s talk about your HIV. You remember, you gave blood tests just after you were discharged from hospital?”

  “Yes ,sir. How are the results?”

  “Well, HIV RNA is kinda high around 200.000. That’s normal, we were expecting like that. Good new is your CD4+ T lymphocytes are bigger than 500. It shows your immune system is good right now. But, you have to take care of yourself very well. Sleep well, feed well, stay away from stress. Alright?”

  “Sure Sir. But you know life is very hard. My grandmother has been like a kid after heart attack. She is very emotional. She cries when i don’t do her wishes. And, she will probably lose her job. I need to find a job soon. I left school. I have no girl friend, no job, no money, no health...How can i stay away from stress?”

  “Give me list what you need at your home. If you accept it, i can buy your need at home monthly.”

  “Oh sir, thank you so much, i can’t accept it.”

  “Please man, we are brothers in creation. Our father is same, first prophet “ Adam”. Let me help you. Allah gave me, so i need to help people as a thank to Allah.”

  “Oh wow, i have to ask my grandmother.”

  “No, don’t ask her. Accept that until you find a job at least then.”

  “Ok Sir. I accept it as an owe. I will pay it back,ok?”

  “No problem. If you get rid of all problems, you can pay me so much later.” smiled Hussain.

  Oh Adam, again?

  Brian reminded Adam again when Hussain told about first prophet and person Adam. Brian had been going to the station to sign the papers daily. Policemen asked about who he had fought with. Brian didn’t complain and he told them it was an old friend who had misunderstood him, and they were ok after all. Policemen didn’t force too much and did let him go. So, Brian was planning to call Adam and meet him. Adam wrote his cellphone number at that envelope he gave to Brian. He called Adam, he told about situation at station. Adam thanked to him, and Adam offered him a dinner outside. They were going to meet dinner. Brian told Adam everything. He told him about Kelly.

  “I really liked him man. But i didn’t understand what happened, she stopped talking to me suddenly. We even didn’t fight. I tried to find out the reason. So, i used that girl’s photos and fake profile.”

  “So, what was the reason?”

  “Can i trust you? I still like her. Maybe you can help me, but i will give you my secrets.”

  “Ok, don’t worry. I was so furious at you at first, but i was almost killing you. So, i promise i won’t hurt you again. We are friends now. You sound such a good guy.”

  “Thank you Adam. I have a sad, long life story. My parents were divorced and my mother left me with my grandmother. She is an old woman. She couldn’t educate me well. I had very bad friends. And, unfortunately, i started to use drugs. One day, my best friend who was also a drug addict was very bad. He was a homeless boy and he was living in rural area where gangs try to administer. I visited him, he was having very high fever, i called ambulance. Ambulance could not enter the place we were. I had to bring him and this gangs stopped me. They asked me either money or drugs to let him go to hospital. I didn’t have money, i knew where the drugs were that Alex hided. I went to take them and when i was back, policemen were there. They were stopping everybody they saw in that street. I was carrying drugs, so i had to run away. It was night and dark, so i threw drugs away from me when i was running away. But at the end, they caught me and took me station. So, your uncle, Kelly’s father also works at that station. So, he told Kelly to stop talking to me. I even talked to him, but didn’t work out. So, i am really sorry about this fake profile, but i had to find the reason why she left me suddenly. Do you understand me?”

  “Oh wow. Man, you better forget Kelly. Kelly is a kinda elite girl. You can’t be happy with her. You can’t satisfy her needs.”

  “If you say so…” curved his head to the front Brian.

  “Anyway, i am happy you are alive and you didn’t complain to the police about me. Thank you and i am so sorry too.”

  “No problem but how come did you find me?”

  “I am a computer engineer man. You tried to find a way to learn why Kelly left you, so i tried to find out why Siobhan left me. He,he, he…”

  “Hehe, he..” giggled Brian.

  “Man, i really did like your chat as Siobhan. Photos also were awesome. But after you stopped and closed the account, i had a suspect. I found out your ip address, and then cell phone number and i found you. I followed you almost 2 days. You were mostly in hospital and that guy doc, was with you. So, that night my anger reached to the top and you know the rest...But after that fight, i was so worried and regretful. Because a woman from a window saw me and she was calling somewhere. So, i had to hide. Thankfully, ambulance was very fast. I also followed your situation at hospital too. I was very happy when they took you into the service from ICU.” said Adam.

  And his hand moved toward Brian’s hand. He held his hand and said,

  “I am happy you are alive.”

  Brian felt weird. He said this like he was holding a girl’s hand. It sounded like his looks changed. Brian had a suspect if Adam was bisexual or gay.

  “Well, i suggest you not to touch me,because i have another secret.”

  “Oh, what is it?” moved his hand back Adam.

  “You know, my that friend died because of infections and drugs. He was taking drugs by needles, he had HIV from a friend’s needles. HIV collapsed his immune system and needle’s holes in his skin made other microorganisms enter his body easier and he had many infections and he died. And i was also using drugs by needles. And unfortunately, one time i used his needle. And,we have just found out that i am also HIV positive. I have started therapy but i carry this virus.”

  “Oh no…” surprised Adam.

  “Is my Siobhan gonna die?” asked silently Adam. Brian understood what he said.

  “Hey i am not Siobhan,and yes, all people are going to die one day. Do you see anyone living for 1000 years?”

  Adam started to cry. He said, “I thought i had found true love first time in my life. And then, she left me and i found out she was not her. And then, i found you the owner of her words, and now i am losing you.”

  “Hey Adam, i am not a girl. Please, turn to yourself. And, by the way i am not gay or bisexual if you have such an intention. You should know that.” said Brian suddenly.

  “Oh no, you got me wrong Brian. I am really sorry to hear all of these. But, can we stay friends? If you need help, i can try my best. You can’t know how lonely i am. I am always in front of computer, either busy with work or with lots of fake friends online. This social media makes me depressed. I just need real friends. Would you be mine?”

  “Yours? Your what?”

  “Friend, man. Take it easy.”

  “Are you straight?”

  “Well yes. I just need you as a friend. Don’t get me wrong.”

  “Oh ok then. But i better go now, i have an appointment.”

  “O
h, with who?” asked Adam. Adam’s these questions were making Brian have suspects about his sexual preference.

  “Hey, i am a free man, ok? I can meet anyone i want. I have to go now. Thanks for dinner.” said Brian.

  And Brian left him. Brian was thinking to gaining a new friend but he was disappointed.